jackassworld

As I walked through Hollywood, I overheard an idea being pitched. As you all know, it likely was a louse. Here at jackassworld we have all the good ideas—see, we are in business, evidently! And we get many girls, so the proof is in the pudding. We would never accept any “random” ideas from city dorks. They don’t have the proper imagination. Sorry, doing a lot of pot won’t help.

Some say that there are motion picture ideas a plenty “just sitting on the beach like conch shells.” Haven’t heard it? Try reading a screenwriting book, or checking out Wordplayer.com. Anyways, while you’re standing awkwardly at Hollywood and Vine, I’ll be busy giving the world free ideas, at only the price that you think I’m cool.

Idea 1
A freight train turns the town quarterback into a red puff. The whole town has to move on and they pick a new one that’s gay. The bleachers only lose a 20 percent population, and the quarterback’s old hot girlfriend becomes a greaser and it’s better anyhow. So the town changed for the better. Moral: sometimes bad things can be good.

Idea 2
A wastoid discovers fruit. For years it was just grilled food and a crap load of illegal drugs. Immediately his closest friends notice and begin to chide him. In act two he looks and feels great and befriends a hippie chick that teaches him the ways of Garcia. One night on the news they see Jerry dies and their hearts and lives separate. The wastoid pathetically tries to get his friends back and they welcome him and then they all blast off on drugs.

Idea 3
A young woman living in Los Angeles decides that the place is evil and moves to the east coast. After a year, she decides that the opposing coast is not the answer when she hears about those in the covered wagons that went to Oregon to start a new life. Over the course of a time-lapsed summer (act two), she traverses the states and then moves into a house, gets a dog and a job, and then ends up back in LA for the ending.

Idea 4
A spin off of this last one: (small ensemble cast) a chick and a dude are having a hard time keeping up with their rent on their NYC and LA apartments. They spend their days roaming the two cities basically just trying to amass currency. In a NYC diner the girl hears the song where they say, “We’re all slaves to money and then we die,” and she gets discouraged. Then we focus on a third character: LA girl, who decides to move to NYC, does so, and then shows up “randomly” at an LA bar one month later. The main characters meet on a flight and decide to settle down together and split the rent in the city where the plane happened to be going. (Art film, shows a slice of society in 2000’s.)

Idea 5
Two men who are at “odds with the world,” work diligently and play the lottery in order to “meet at an island in the South Pacific.” It’s supposed to be a team work show about suffering and prevalence, but it just turns out that they were both in the closet and they “go off” sexually for the majority of act three. Ending: you decide!