evel knievel tribute – oklahomo diary, part 2
3.
The reason we were sent to Oklahoma was to cover Mat Hoffman’s Evel Knievel tribute/extra-ganza bonanza. The highlight of which was Trigger Gump’s world record distance jump attempt. Trigger set the record at the same location a year ago, but it had recently been broken on New Year’s eve in Las Vegas by an Australian fellow named Robbie Maddison. He flew 322 feet.
Trigger went pretty far, but unfortunately due to the weather and the track, the jump was called off before he could break the record. Which he surely would have done had conditions been more favorable. Still, a lot of other exciting things went down, not the least of which was Knoxville getting his dick ripped off by a motorcycle.
A moment that was personally very exciting to me was meeting Matt, an Oklahoma C-File.
4.
“How come there’s just K-Files and there aren’t, like, C-Files?” Rick asked one day. Sometimes Rick likes the K-Files and sometimes he doesn’t. This was one of the times he didn’t.
“Because C-Files are stupid,” I said. “The K-File is your thing. C-Files, J-Files, D-Files, whatever, are all just cheap imitations, you know what I mean?” He did know what I meant.
Plus, as I’ve written elsewhere, the K-Files aren’t just dudes that look a little bit like Rick Kosick, they’re a secret army or some shit. They’re gnarly. C-Files, while they do exist, are simply dudes that look a little like me, Dave Carnie. They don’t possess magic powers or come from outer space like the K-Files do. They’re just ugly Carnie look-alikes. Like Dave Grohl.
I do not like looking like Dave Grohl. There are some other notable C-Files that I find more acceptable: Jim Morrison (with beard…when I was in Mexico recently, all the street vendors called me “Jeem Morry Sun!”), Jesus Christ (I wish I had his super powers), that dude in Monster Magnet, the bad kid on the Simpsons…
Granted, Jimbo doesn’t have a beard, but the beanie and the hair and the black clothes is dead on. Another favorite C-File is Chuck Mangione. His album Fun and Games hung in the Big Brother offices in the LFP building for years. Much to everyone’s consternation, I refuse to admit that Chuck Mangione is a C-File.
I haven’t heard the album myself, but based on the cover art, it’s probably delightfully quirky. You can buy a copy here and then let me know what it sounds like.
So, yeah, C-Files are pretty whatevs compared to the mighty K-Files. Still, when we see a C-File, we don’t ignore it. Especially when we come across one like Matt who we met at a Denny’s our first night in Oklahoma. Welcome to the C-Files, Matt:
I can’t even tell which one is me…
