jackassworld

Welcome to our new weekly feature for Fridays, where we yammer on about the important, the random, and the inexplicable happenings at jackassworld.

First off, you might have noticed our new landing page—or rather what we had assumed would be a landing page but somehow became our new home page. Regardless, revisions and such are forthcoming in the days ahead, but a new red, white, and blue header is in place with a fully functional NAV. Moving around the landing page you’ll find random games, a mystery button and, best of all, downloads, which include exclusive wallpaper images (like the phenomenal moment of horse cum consumption), jackassworld banners for guerrilla promotional practices and myspace usage, and the long awaited “Not Now” songs by Josh and Kosick, as well as the raw AIF file for you to take and mix into your own unique Wolfie score.

Next week we’re also going to be rolling out a number of behind-the-scenes moments and videos from Oklahoma and Johnny Knoxville’s famous urethra incident to celebrate the DVD release of Mat Hoffman’s Tribute to Evel Knievel on May 5, 2008. In the meantime, the DVD is available for pre-order in the jackassworld shop. To do so, grab your mom’s credit card and click here.

Get your own copy of Mat Hoffman’s Tribute to Evel Knievel

And now for the inexplicable, which comes via Dave Carnie: Last week Knoxville posted a photo of his sister and her husband Crazy Ronnie. Memmer? Well, apparently I wasn’t the only one that was curious what an “uncooked baked potato” was. So I asked him. “What’s an uncooked baked potato? Is that a regional specialty?”

Knoxville responded. “Ha ha ha…I guess that would just be a potato. You know, Jeff pointed that out to me two days ago, ‘Isn’t an uncooked baked potato just a potato?’ I thought for a second and laughed, ‘Yeah, you’re right.’ But at the time I was just focusing on the ‘uncooked’ part being the problem in me describing potato. I was thinking, ‘Puddin’ (that’s what I call myself: Puddin’), the uncooked part was unnecessary, you should have just written potato.’ But that’s wrong because I forgot about the ‘baked’ part of my phrase until yesterday. Upon further discussion I realized the word ‘baked’ was another word that I could have left out. The most embarrassing part of this, though, is that it just dawned on me as I was writing this (not joking) that not only could I have left out ‘uncooked’ and ‘baked,’ but those two words contradict each other. My face is redder than an ape’s ass right now. Jesus Christ, I feel like a knothead. I think this is why the mix-up happened (I mean, aside from me being a bit spotty now and again) was that I wanted to convey that the potatoes were hard and not soft. So I thought, ‘Well, how can I let the kids know the baked potato was hard? Presto! I got it! I will say the baked potato was uncooked!’ That’s where the mistake happened. So there you go kids, sometimes a potato is just a potato. Humbly, Johnny Knoxville.”

Thank you. But I still had one more question. “What were two uncooked baked potatoes doing on a table in a bar?”

“It was a rough bar, what can I say?” he said. “In those places they leave ‘em out as breath mints.”

And that concludes this edition of jackassworld news.