jackassworld

For the third time in the last two months, a jackassworld staff member has pissed his pants in the men’s bathroom. The latest person to do so, Rick Kosick, emerged from the stall with a baffled look on his face and a minor pee stain darkening the seat of his pants.

“I just pissed in my pants!” Kosick exclaimed with an odd mixture of delight and disgust.

This news was greeted with silent nods of camaraderie and affirmation from fellow staff members Dave Carnie and Derek Freda, both of whom shared similar bathroom accidents in recent times.

Amid claims and allegations of rampant male incontinence within the office, a preliminary investigation launched into the series of events has revealed a significant design flaw in the structure of the toilet: an unusually large gap between the seat and bowl fixture. This gap, if not approached with an alert presence of mind and fully flaccid member, could result in the urine stream to overshoot the lip of the stunted bowl and land in the victim’s pants, or worse, underpants, oftentimes quite unknowingly.

Despite increased awareness of the danger, steps are not being taken to remedy the situation in hopes that similar accidents befall jackassworld executives Jeff Tremaine and Johnny Knoxville or visiting cast members.