jackassworld

Then one day the baby grew up and its parents didn’t think it was so cute anymore. The magic had worn off. The parents of the baby decided they wanted to kill it. Maybe with a hammer? Fortunately some other parents who couldn’t have a big dumb baby of their own, offered to buy the big dumb baby. And so the original parents sold the big dumb baby to the new parents. (The first parents thought the new parents were as stupid as the big dumb baby.)

At first, the new parents loved their big dumb baby. It was a very silly baby, if only slightly marred and a little chubbier. Everything was great for a while, until this weird incident occurred in which the big dumb baby kind of exploded and a new baby shot out of its butt. The baby that shot out of the big dumb baby’s butt was named Jack. “Hi-eee! I’m Jack!” Jack flew all the way to space where he began orbiting the earth and shooting fireworks out of his ass. “Ooooo!” everyone cooed. Because let’s face it, a baby orbiting the earth shooting fireworks out of its ass is far more exciting than a big dumb baby that poops all over everything—even if it can ride a skateboard.